When people talk about self-love, it’s often framed as mindset work: positive affirmations, confidence, or learning to speak kindly to yourself. Those things matter — but self-love is not just mental or emotional. It is deeply physical.
Your body is the place where your experiences live. Stress, grief, joy, pressure, responsibility, and even unspoken emotions are stored in tissues, breath patterns, posture, and the nervous system. If your body feels tense, exhausted, or constantly braced for impact, it becomes difficult to access feelings of safety and compassion — no matter how many encouraging thoughts you try to think.
True self-love begins by creating safety in the body.
STRESS LIVES IN THE BODY
Most of us don’t realize how much stress we’re carrying until we slow down long enough to feel it. Tight shoulders. Shallow breathing. A clenched jaw. Hips that never quite relax. These aren’t just physical quirks — they’re signals from a nervous system that’s been running in protection mode.
When your body is stuck in fight-or-flight, self-love can feel like a luxury instead of a necessity. You may find yourself snapping more easily, feeling disconnected, or running on autopilot. And autopilot is the worst because we’re living so mindlessly that we’re not even conscious of our own needs, desires and emotions. Over time, this state of chronic tension becomes normalized, and we forget what it feels like to truly rest inside ourselves.
Supporting the body is not indulgent. It’s foundational.
ACTS OF LOVE: MOVEMENT, TOUCH & BREATH
Gentle movement, stretching, and intentional breath tell the nervous system a powerful message: you are safe now. When muscles release, circulation improves, and breath deepens, the body shifts into a rest-and-repair state. This is where healing, clarity, and emotional resilience grow.
Bodywork practices like assisted stretching, myofascial release and massage are especially impactful because they invite you to receive care. Many people are excellent at giving — supporting families, clients, and communities — but struggle to accept support themselves. Receiving safe, nurturing touch can soften emotional armor you didn’t even realize you were wearing.
This is one of the quiet miracles of being intentional with your day-to-day recovery habits – it reminds the body that it doesn’t have to carry everything alone.
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT THROUGH THE SENSES
Your senses are direct pathways to the nervous system, which is why essential oils can be such a beautiful tool for emotional support. There are many essential oils that promote grounding.
Balance increases feelings of peace and contentment.
Vetiver helps center the mind and spirit while promoting focus and
Cedarwood creates a relaxing and comforting atmosphere. It's not about using one of these, specifically, but about you figuring out an oil or combination of oils that creates an aroma that's pleasing/grounding for
you.
I encourage you to try things out - you can't do it wrong. For example,
Anchor,
Black Spruce and Manuka make an incredible grounding diffuser blend - add two drops of each to a diffuser and enjoy as your stress melts away. When you pair aroma with breath and movement, they help anchor the body in the present moment.
Please note: Manuka isn't available in the US Market, so if you don't have it you can replace it with Cypress for a similar aroma and emotional benefits.
This isn’t about escaping emotions, it’s about creating a supportive environment where emotions can move instead of getting stuck. A regulated nervous system allows feelings to pass through you rather than overwhelm you.
Even a small daily ritual — a drop of oil in your palms, a slow inhale, a moment of gratitude — can become an anchor of self-connection.
SELF-LOVE IS PERMISSION TO RECEIVE
Many people associate self-love with doing more: more routines, more habits, more effort. But often the deepest form of self-love is allowing yourself to receive. Rest. Support. Healing. Care. Prayer. Stillness.
There is humility and courage in admitting you are human and need replenishment.
Taking time to support your body is not time stolen from others. It is what allows you to show up more patient, present, and emotionally available in your relationships. A nourished nervous system doesn’t just benefit you — it changes the atmosphere around you.
When your body feels safe, your heart follows.
A GENTLE INVITATION
This week, consider one small act of physical self-love. Stretch for five minutes before bed. Breathe deeply with an oil that comforts you. Schedule recovery work. Step outside and feel your feet on the ground. Place a hand over your heart and thank your body for carrying you this far.
Self-love doesn’t start with perfection. It starts with attention. And your body has been waiting for yours.
xoDanette